better than a wet noodle...

have you ever beat a cat within a cunt hair of their life....WITH A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER?

I have. This morning I got up and proceeded to sweep up all the crap Devochka has trashed my apartment with. Toilet paper and various other pieces of assorted garbage. I have absolutely NO clue where she finds this shit, but she does.

I was expecting visitors, including Jack, my nephew, so I wanted the floor to at least be debris free.

After getting the floor clean, and an hour later than I normally go, I headed to CC's Coffee for my Saturday morning cup.

All the rage that I had from yesterday having been slept off over approximately 16 hours. I had left work before lunch yesterday because the Riba-Rage™ was just unbearable.

So, I'm feeling good, I'm waiting to have breakfast with Jack, and I'm enjoying my walk to the coffee shop and back.

When I walk in, what do you think I find. YOU GOT IT, MY FUCKING FrEaK CAT HAD GOTTEN AHOLD OF THE TOILET PAPER AND TRASHED MY PLACE AGAIN. Fuck me.

Now just imagine Riba-Rage™ coming back with a vengeance in about 1/100th of a second. Yup, that was me. I chased that fucking bitch. She headed to the bathroom, under the tub. Broke the fucking broom getting the BITCH out from under there. She was no at all too happy. I proceeded to BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THAT BITCH WITH THE VERY ROLL OF TOILET PAPER SHE SHREDDED.

Well, I'm better now for the most part. My hands reflect the skill that Devochka has with her teeth and claws, and the cat is poking her head back out every so often, and she doesn't look too bad for the wear and tear.

I'm just hoping she learned her lesson...