3 times in exactly 7 days...and the effects on my treatment...

Today was close out at Newton, and per tradition, everyone gathers at Stitches for drinks after work. I rode with a fellow worker, and had a coke and a couple non-alcoholic beers. It was enjoyable for the most part, but...Jesse Chubb AGAIN! MOTHER FUCK!!!

So, at about 5:30 or so, my friend and I were leaving. I did notice Jesse over at the pool table. He was playing pool with a good friend of mine, and another friend, John was hanging over there. My plan was just slip out, but John, who I haven't seen in a few months greeted me, and he's a friend, so I couldn't walk out without saying hello and shaking his hand you know. Well, Jesse just had to get his two counterfeit cents in...

Jesse says, "Eddie, you are a very lucky man."

I said,"Yeah, I'm aware of that." How much of an idiot can one person be, I know EXACTLY how lucky I am every morning when Devochka wakes me up sitting on my head, or farting those nasty lettece farts, or head butting me, or licking my eyebrows, which for the record grosses me out even more than the lettace farts...

After bidding John and my other friend goodbye, Jesse tried what I'm sure he perceived as an intimidating move. He raised his hand, pointing his finger at me...he got maybe a foot from my face with his finger, but I was already turning around, and he would probably first need to learn to fight his way out of a wet paper bag before it would be a concern of mine.

He then said, "Eddie Benson, your time is going to come!" I thought about asking him if he was talking about the song of the same name on Led Zeppelin's first album, but figured it was futile for a couple reasons. First, it's not performed by ABBA and second, why encourage a moron of such grand stature.

What would be gained by even acknowledging someone that I consider to have the maturity of a teenager, the etiquette of poor white trash, and the intelligence that almost, but not quite, equals my cat Devochka.

I didn't look back as I walked out the door, but I can still picture what he looked like in his second hand yuppie wear and his juvenile smug look...

Guess he just doesn't know when to quit. From what I understand, he's already been called into the office of the corporate attorney for the incident that happened the first day and I think he was advised to cease and desist this type of behavior. I also understand that he called the Jefferson Parish Sheriffs department in an attempt to have me arrested for exercising my rights of freedom of speech. CAN WE SPELL DUMBASS!!! Guess he didn't realize that even if he had a case, it would be a civil case. From what I understand, both the officer that responded to his call, and the corporate attorney advised him that he would have to take this to civil court. The boy just don't have the education to have a clue about issues like these.

I really hope he doesn't put me in a position that I have to have him arrested for this dumb shit. I already feel sorry for him and his sad existence, and I couldn't see putting him in a position where he would fast become a experienced jail house PUNK. Sheesh, he would be the best fresh meat they've had in years...sweet cheeks extraordinaire! That would be sad, even if it did give him the opportunity find his "true self."

Since this is the third such incident in exactly 7 days, and having to deal with the side effects of my interferon/Ribavirin treatment, he's beginning to irritate me like corduroy on a hemorrhoid. I hope is doesn't effect my recovery from the hepatitis C, because I would like this liver to last at least a couple more decades before a replacement becomes necessary.

I have decided to ignore Jesse's inappropriate behavior one last time in hopes that he will come to his senses, but I fear that I will need to contact my attorney for legal advise in this matter in very short order if he cannot curb this childish antics. The preservation of my health is paramount here...And I'm not going to let this poser derail my path to SVR(Sustained Virologic Response) status.

Other employees have made comments to me about Jesse and the comments he's been making about his plans to "kick my ass." He's obviously spouting his po white trash talk throughout the company. If it continues, I'll let Jack advise me on the matter, but I relatively sure the only action that I will be able to take is to file a protective order...I believe that may at least make it criminal to come within a certain distance from me, I'll ask Jack next week when he gets back from Florida if I need too. The only other option would be civil proceedings, but WTF would I do that for, you can't bleed a turnip, and what would I get, his car...sheesh, what would I do with a car that's favored by the nations gender challenged. Fuck that bullshit...

Now, it is my intention to go a whole day tomorrow without the mention or thought of Mr. Chubb. I would much rather concentrate on my medical condition and my work. I don't know what kind of effect his actions will have on me medically. Doctors orders are to try to take it easy as much as possible. I have to say that I'm glad I decided to do my interferon injections on Friday evenings. I don't even want to imagine what would happen if I had chosen Monday as injection day. The moodiness and disorientation I've been experiencing on Saturdays, and to a lesser extent on Sundays have proven that I can be quite short and to the point to put it mildly. In addition, I'm only two weeks in, and the second week was worse than the first. That's first hand shit, but the research I've done on this treatment has me prepared for a wide range of symptoms in the future. Worse flu like symptoms, hair lose...I'm not going to go any further in detail at this point, I'll save that for later. I've read testimonials that it's all down hill, and then can take two to six months to get back to normal after the treatment. This is not a pretty site, and I can't afford to allow someone else's actions to effect my health under any circumstances. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO REPEAT THIS TREATMENT! From what I understand, if you have to go through more than one series, the side effects are magnified tremendously.

No worries for the time being, at least I can vent through this blog, and document events on a daily basis.

What really sux...the fucking DISCOUNT ZONE ran out of my Cherry Garcia Bars....FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT GODDAMMIT!!!!

short and sweet for all you fans out there.....

I guess I should clarify things. First, this blog was/is intended to be a place for me to voice my opinions, experiences, thoughts, ramblings, and S.P.A.E. in general. If you are not familiar with S.P.A.E., scroll down a bit and find the post. This blog has never been promoted, and the only link to this blog, is from my website ebo.net. Ebo.net is a private domain, used for private purposes.

It's come to my attention that today one poor lifeless soul found the site and failed to find humor in certian opinions I expressed, and questions that I've posed. TOUGH SHIT! These are my opinions, my questions, and this is MY FUCKING blog. If you don't like what you see, CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL IDIOT!

Still, you have to find humor in the fact that since NO ONE has ever bothered to read this blog before, the chances of ANYONE that would be familiar with anything portrayed in my ramblings, actually finding and reading this blog, are about as likely as my cat walking down to the Discount Zone and purchasing a pack of zig zags and the winning lottery ticket for 3 weeks straight. Instead, this person who will go unnamed, and I use the word "person" very loosely at this point, finds the blog, gets his panties in that WAD, that IN MY OPINION, he seems enjoy, AND SHOWS IT TO A NUMBER OF PEOPLE THAT PROBABLY COULD GIVE A RATS ASS!

Oops, guess the cats out of the bag now! Of all the years I've been creating and managing websites, this is the most unique method of traffic generation I've ever experienced. Cest la vie!

Well, this is still my blog. These are still my opinions, AND I WRITE THIS ON MY OWN TIME!

So, this evening, I hear from a number of sources that the word slander and class action being tossed around. Woo fucking HOO!

Just for the record, and for those seemingly unfamiliar with the english language and the true meaning of certain terms, educate yourself DUMBASS!
slan·der) (slndr)
n.

1. Law. Oral communication of false statements injurious to a person's reputation.
2. A false and malicious statement or report about someone.

Note that in order to be slander, things have to be FALSE STATEMENTS!!! If anyone can find any 'false statements' in my opinions, please inform me...should anyone know the answers to any of the questions that I've posed, feel free to post a response. Don't be scared, ebo don't bite unless asked in a demanding and hostile tone...

Again, if you don't like what you read, don't be shy, POST A COMMENT. A good fuck you never hurt me, and it's doubtful that I would give a good greasy fart what you think anyway.

Sweet dreams, and please excuse me whilst I partake in my Cherry Garcia Bar, and endulge in fantasies and hallucinations that you will never, EVER comprehend.

P.S.
1st amendment - United States Constitution.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

trapped between "today's sucks," and...

You know those days when you wake up and you just know that it's not going to be your most pleasurable day. I could be anything that caused the feeling. The cat stealing the cigarettes. Breaking a toe on chair that was left pushed too far out in the room. Or as today, waking up and realizing that the right ankle feels broken. Well, it's the latter for me. Today is probably the first day in a couple months that I've actually put on shoes. I normally wear sandles.

Now, how this happened is beyond me. I was up a bit later than normal last night. Not late by normal standards, but I was up until 10:30. I slept completely through the night, but when I woke up, I almost hit the floor from the pain.

My assumption is that the TX is starting to settle in, and this is probably the beginning of additional aches and pains. Note that the use of marijuana contained all symptoms, but my supply ran out Sunday night, and I've decided to go until Tuesday without so that I can experience the symptoms first hand.

a leper by any other name....

Well, I expected this, but I guess I was hoping that I would be wrong. The ignorance of the general public about my situation had proven to turn me into a leper in the eyes of most.

I'm fine with that at work. I can't think of anyone that I really need or want in my life from Newton. Swabby is pretty cool...straight up guy, and I consider him a good friend. The rest of the crowd are just faceless bodies for the most part. I'll do my time there, and I'll make my check. I won't expect any favors, nor will I expect anything less than the company at large trying to get another penny out of my check and into the company coffers. I expect that, because that's the way it's always been over at Newton.

In the mean time, I sit here alone. I find it funny that when I was drinking, sitting here alone during the weekend was quite acceptable. Now, I just want to get the fuck out of here and do something, but I don't feel that I want to do anything by myself.

This is what I'm getting at I guess, the loneliness. I have a couple "real" friends I guess. One, who seems to be genuinely concerned, my friend j, calls and checks on me, but there can't be much there for a very simple reason. She's married, and has her little pink house and daughter to care for.

Another, my friend r, checks on me daily also, and I know that she cares...I don't know exactly why, but I know I can count on her.

Most people that call want something. Chris, a friend that used to be a bartender at a bar that I frequented for a bit. He's been wanting me to teach him how to use ftp to upload his website. I'm not in the mood for this in any way shape or form. I have asked him to email me on a number of occasions, and can easily answer his questions that way, but I don't want him coming over here to hang out, and let me teach him.

I don't want to teach anyone anything right now.

I wonder how my chocolate bunny is doing. She called herself that to me one day, and it brought a giant smile to my face. T has been by twice over the last month or so. She's now pregnant, and she's married also. I really enjoyed the last time she came over. She is truly a wonderful girl, and I wish I would have been of a state of mind to get together with her. She is someone that I could be with, in theory.

Sharon has even fallen back from me. As have my son, my father, and my sisters...I have not heard a word from anyone but Robert in the last two weeks. Of course, Robert was just checking on whether or not Sharon had sent him his check. I'm in full leper mode here guys...

No matter I guess. I've taken steps to make things a small amount better. God willing, 2006 will be a truly different way to start my latter years.

I believe that it was William Burroughs that started his classic "Naked Lunch," with "I awoke from the sickness at age 45..."

Let's hope that this virus dragon that is running around in my blood subsides by my forty-fifth birthday, and I can truly awake from this sickness...god willing...

trapped between the time dragging along...

WTF is up with every little thing? I mean, it's almost 7:30AM, and I've been up for 3 1/2 hours. I only woke up a couple times last night, the first time at 12:37 in the morning. I've been asleep before 9PM every night since I started at Newton, and I've been up around 4AM each morning. I'm a dumbass for throwing that coffee pot out. Even though it was trashed, I could have used it.

I got offered another job on Friday night. My friend j's brother wants to put together some web design services on his website. I'm considering it...can do it at night, and make some funds on the side.

I'm thinking more and more about funding and how I'm going to be able to fund a retirement that will be livable.

My intentions, and the numbers point to a decent end of the year. This will be providing I keep the job I have now, and continue to develop my other projects which are looking more like they will be somewhat lucrative.

In the mean time, it's fucking Sunday, and I have nothing to do. I'm bored, and I want to do something today, but I know that I won't...I'll just pass the day, and thank whatever powers that be for allowing me to wake up today, continuing TX, and knowing that all will be well in the future...

why does everyone have to be a fucking freak?

So, last night, I'm laying around, watching TV, feeling like crap, and an old girlfriend called. WTF! She's taken all of the pills she has in the house. Ok, well, how many pills would that be? About 300. Oh, ok, well, what kind of pills are they? Is that enough to kill you? Yes. Well, you know, friday nights and saturdays AREN'T GOOD FOR ME for a least 6 months, so I'm really not up for this right now. Go puke that shit up, and call me in the morning...

I did receive a voice mail later after I had fallen asleep saying that she was okay. Well, I'm effected much more this weekend than last I think, so I'm really not in the mood to deal with much more than my own shit this weekend.

week 2.....

ok, so today was the second dose of interferon. started feeling bad today earlier today.

Animal Planet A-FUCKING-GAIN!

She's lucky she's alive this morning. I awoke at 4AM...yeah, I kn0w, WTF am I doing waking up at 4AM. I don't know, but I will tell you that when one wakes up at 4AM and the cigarettes have disappeared, it becomes quite obvious that this cat has a death wish.

Rather than killing her, I instead walked to the Discount Zone and picked up a couple more packs, a coke, and a couple Cherry Garcia bars for those fantasies....er..never mind....

So, let's see how today goes...and hope that the idiots at the apple keep to themselves...

trapped between the apple and....

holy fuck! people with taped faces, idiots and morons running rampant...and I just want to throw someone at a pigeon just to see if I can kill one...the idiot, not the pigeon...

An imagination can be....

Well, you decide...today I thought about throwing my boss out of the window because he came in whistling while he (PRETENDED TO) work. And though he has proven on more than one occasion that he can be a "mental" dwarf, still, he should have known that THIS IS NOT FUCKING SNOW WHITE, GOLDIE LOCKS, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET ON THE PHONE!!!

I did feel that I could probably find an innocent pigeon on the ledge outside his window that I could use to break his fall, but expected nothing less than a bloody mess at the end of a 4 story drop.

Enough of that...I won't be there tomorrow, I took another job.

When I got home this evening, in typical Devochka fashion, the FUCKING CAT GOT INTO THE FUCKING GARBAGE AND DECIDED THAT A PIECE OF ROMAINE LETTUCE WOULD MAKE A GOOD PLAY TOY, SO SHE BROUGHT IT INTO MY BED. I really don't know why I don't kill this critter, except her stupid antics make me laugh too hard to kill her.

On Saturday she decided I needed a "window" in my shower curtain. She's been walking around on the side of the tub every morning when I showered, but would always look in one end or the other. She was so proud that when I was looking, she made a point to hop through the FUCKING HOLE she carved in my perfectly good shower curtain. I guess she wanted me to be proud of her accomplishment...I was, so I put a few drops of hot sauce in some canned cat food...I hope he ass burns for a week...

trapped between dopey and....

The CEO of my company came in whistling today...
I think he should read the strong warning at the end of my FUCKING email before he comes in the office whistling while he works......THIS AIN'T FUCKING SNOW WHITE, AND THOUGH HE IS A MENTAL DWARF, HE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT I'M A FAR CRY FROM PRINCE CHARMING, BUT I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO SHOVE A POSION APPLE INTO HIS THROAT VIA HIS RECTUM.......OR COLON EVEN!!!

Happy Fucking Fathers Day...

Ok,
Well, I finally took a shower this weekend. I was scared to yesterday because I keep having what I'm now describing as a "white out." It's not exactly a black out, as I'm consensus of everything, but at the same time, it's like a temporarily lose control of my mind and drift. I haven't fallen down yet, but I've stumbled and lost my balance, so I thought it was best to forgo a shower in favor of a one piece head.
I seem to get this episodes about an hour after I take the Ribavirin. This may or may not be the case, but it's what I'm imagining is correct at this time.
I taped a little blurb from a warning section about my treatment to my monitor to remind me what I could be in for. It reads;

"Severe psychiatric adverse events [S.P.A.E.] including depression, psychoses, aggressive behavior, hallucinations, violent behavior (suicidal ideation, suicidal attempts, suicides), and rare instances of homicidal ideation have occurred during combination REBETOL/INTRON A therapy, both in patients with and without previous psychiatric disorder."

Isn't that sweet....

yuck....

ok, so I started tx yesterday. I injected the interferon at around 3:30, along with the ribavirin. I didn't feel that much until around midnight. Now I know what they meant by "flu like." You know that feeling that you can't get warm. For at least a couple hours I was freezing. I finally got up turned the AC down. I just woke up again. It's almost 4AM, and I woke up sweating, so I turned the AC back on, and I'm sitting here typing. Other symptoms as such;
I feel light headed for one. I honestly feel sick. Feverish...like the glands in my neck are tight. I don't really feel like writing now, but I'm going to anyway....guess I should start that journal...

nerves of steel......not...

Well, UPS showed up at my office today with a box that's about the size of a 9 inch cube. It's refridgerated with my meds for the first month in there. Had two "blue ice" packs in there, which I have put into the freezer of the fridge here and put the interferon in the fridge also. Nerves of steel, FUCK NO, I'm nervous as a little child...

4 more days and counting...

Well, it's been 10 days since I have posted...I'm sure that doesn't disappoint my readers too much as I doubt that anyone is actually reading this...

My medication has been approved, and is being shipped to the office on Wednesday. I have an appointment for 8:30AM on Thursday to have preliminary test done prior to the treatment. I begin my treatment on Friday. Guess that's the best day since I have to work, and I can feel my worst on the weekend, and will be able to get more work done.

I really don't feel like writing...I spent the entire weekend laying around because of depression that really took hold on Thursday when my boss told me he doesn't have the funds to make payroll this time. I'll leave it at that for the time being, and I'll give the follow up later in the week...

bored between a needy cat and...

Ok, well work sux...still the boss hasn't been able to get to work on time. Today it was trees being cut down...at least he's only used that one twice, he's been to the DMV at least ten times this year...

For the last couple days all I've done is work in Flash. I did one with my nephew Jack... Makes me laugh anyway...makes the wait for meds bearable I guess.

the anxiety of the wait..

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Author: Steven Wright

I got a call from Holly{the person at the doctors office that is handling this}, she informed me that the meds would be mailed to me. She hadn't heard from the insurance company on whether or not they are approving the meds, but they assuredly will.

She wanted to let me know the sides that I'm going to have to deal with. I told her that I was aware, because I've been reading everything I can find on the subject.

The side she was particularly interested in was depression. Yup, depression is one of the sides, and it's very normal for a person going through Interferon/Ribaviral treatment to be prescribed ADs{anti-depressants} in addition.

She explained that LSU is doing a study on depression and hepatitis C treatment. She asked if I would consider taking part in the study. I guess this is a way to start giving back a bit, so I agreed.

So NOW, it's all a waiting game...fuck I hate to wait...

fear and loathing in nawlins....

So, I had my liver biopsy two weeks ago today. To my surprise, on the day after the biopsy, my doctor called and informed me that I have second stage fibrosis. For anyone interested, there are 4 stages, the 4th being cirrhosis. Happily, I'm not to the point of liver transplant, but that's not what I want to write about today.
When my doctor called me, he asked that I call him this past Monday. Obviously neither of us realized it was Memorial day, so the call was made yesterday.
I fully expected to begin treatment for my condition yesterday, but it wouldn't be...
Holly, the nurse I spoke to, informed me that before I can begin, the insurance company has to approve the treatment. I don't think that there will be much of a problem with that...it's the waiting that's killing me. I just want to get on with the treatment.
Hopefully I'll have a time frame today or tomorrow.
In the mean time, I'm trying to prepare myself mentally for the months to come. It's only right that I should sink into a hermits lifestyle. I see absolutely no use in keeping contact with the world at large whilst I go through this chemical hell.
I continue to read alt.support.hepatits-c for info, and this will for the most part where I will look for companionship. Rather this, than subjecting anyone to what may be a really bad time.