how to get a deadbeats attention...

for those who don't know, for the last 5 years, I've been in the commercial colletions field. Not individuals that owe credit cards, companies that owe companies...dumbass!

So, I get an account dropped to me. This thing has been through several collectors, and no one has been able to get a response out of the debtor, so this was a do or die situation. When I infospaced the name of the company, I found a number with the same address, but a different phone number, and a different suite number. My assumption was that they had moved a couple doors down, changed their phone number, and viola, the extremely talented collection staff at my firm just failed to find this. Not an uncommon occurrence to be honest.

So I call and get one of the principles of the company on the phone. He wasn't happy to hear from me, but not because he owed money, because he wasn't even affiliated with the other company. One was Quality Machine Tools, the other Quality Machine Works. I was talking to the former. The principle informed me that the staff of Quality Machine Tools showed up maybe once per week. Over the last year, he had compiled information about one of the people at the "Tools." He went by both Paul Mitchell, and Mark Mitchell. I was also informed that the every vehicle he had ever seen over there were luxury SUVs. Interesting, work one day per week, drive expensive luxury vehicles. There must be a real demand for their product, RIGHT! He continues to give me the home address, and two cell numbers for this Paul, or Mark Mitchell. Sweet!

I pounded the first cell I called. I got the feeling he was the wrong person after he told me that he got that number two months ago, but I still pounded him and made him take my number and staple it to the forehead of Paul/Mark.

When I call the second cell number, I get voice mail. Perfect.

I left a message beginning with the normal contact information case number etc. I then informed him of my intent. What was my intent you wonder...

First I asked for his secret. What product could one sell, come to work one day per week, and drive a luxury SUV? Hmmmmm... I then informed him that he need to contact me before end of business today to arrange payment for my client. My action if he did not contact me would first, to have my private investigator visit the business address to document any assets on the property and to interview him. Since he didn't come in to work but one day per week, I noted that we didn't expect to find him there, but if not, I would be more than happy to send my private investigator to him home, quoted his home address, and let him know that my private investigator would surely shove his cell phone into his face to bring him to the phone if the need became necessary.

Two hours later I received a call. Paul/Mark was not the happiest person I've ever heard. He appeared to think I was a son of a bitch, and didn't appreciate one bit that I said that I would have a PI shove a phone in his face.

"I'll overnight you $2500.00 on Monday," he said, "and I'll pay the rest, but you will have to wait a month."

I proceeded to give him all the relevant information to get the check to me via my Federal Express account, as is normal procedure.

"Don't worry about that shit, I'll take care of it," he said. He was still not in the least bit happy about the whole phone in the face thing, and kept whining about it.

"Paul/Mark, I'm sorry if I offended you. We have been attempting to get in touch with you for quite some time, and I wasn't aware that you were so willing to take care of this. Again, I'm apologize if I offended you."

"Well, that's all I wanted to hear," said Paul/Mark

I felt this was a very successful call, but after I hung up, it occurred to me that, shit, I'm out of weed. What the fuck was I thinking, I should have TOLD him to drop a good kine bud into the FedEX envelope, so I could sample the goods.

Ok well, must be the "brain fog" from the meds.